kablastafucked

My cousin ate three pizzas and a whole bottle of rum. He now thinks the moon is a cheeseburger.

My mom tried to make a sandwich and ended up crying on the floor.

My dog drank the entire bottle of wine and now is doing the cha-cha on my keyboard.

I got caught cheating on a test and now my teacher thinks I'm a traitor.

My friend lied to his mom and now he's hiding in the closet with a flashlight.

I broke my mom’s favorite vase and now I’m the worst kid in the world.

He shot the mailbox like it was his enemy.

She fired at the wall and now it has a hole and a bad attitude.

My dad shot a squirrel and it ran away screaming.

I hit a raccoon while my girlfriend was in the car and now she thinks I’m a monster.

I drank 12 beers and now I’m talking to the ceiling.

That guy in the Civic hit my car and now my friends are gonna kill him.