kablaminated

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1
Drinking so much you can’t tell your balls from your elbows and you’re crying about your ex’s cat.
I drank 12 beers and now I’m screaming at my sister’s old boyfriend.
At the party, he started talking to the ceiling like it was a therapist.
She tried to text me, but I just replied with a picture of a pizza and a crying face.
2
Getting so wasted you think you’re a superhero and you try to fight the fridge.
He tackled the microwave like it was a villain from a cartoon.
She tried to do a karate chop on the couch and fell over.
I saw him whispering secrets to the pizza box like it was his best friend.
3
So drunk you can’t walk straight and you start talking to your shoes like they’re your mom.
He tried to dance but ended up faceplanting into a wall.
She yelled at her sock for not supporting her through the day.
I watched him argue with a chair about who was the better president.
4
Getting so wasted you’re basically a human meatball and you don’t care who sees you.
He passed out on the floor like he was doing a yoga pose.
She tried to sing karaoke but it sounded like a cat was screaming.
I saw him eating a whole pizza with his hands like it was a birthday cake.
5
Getting so messed up you think you’re the king of the world and you start giving orders to your dog.
He tried to command his dog to do a math test and it just stared at him.
She told her cat she was the queen and it walked away.
I saw him give a speech to his plants about world domination.
6
So wasted you can’t tell your friends from your enemies and you start throwing chairs.
He threw a chair at the TV and it broke.
She yelled at her brother like he was a thief.
I watched him fight with a couch like it was a rival.
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