kablaminated

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Drinking so much you can’t tell your balls from your elbows and you’re crying about your ex’s cat.

I drank 12 beers and now I’m screaming at my sister’s old boyfriend.

At the party, he started talking to the ceiling like it was a therapist.

She tried to text me, but I just replied with a picture of a pizza and a crying face.

Getting so wasted you think you’re a superhero and you try to fight the fridge.

He tackled the microwave like it was a villain from a cartoon.

She tried to do a karate chop on the couch and fell over.

I saw him whispering secrets to the pizza box like it was his best friend.

So drunk you can’t walk straight and you start talking to your shoes like they’re your mom.

He tried to dance but ended up faceplanting into a wall.

She yelled at her sock for not supporting her through the day.

I watched him argue with a chair about who was the better president.

Getting so wasted you’re basically a human meatball and you don’t care who sees you.

He passed out on the floor like he was doing a yoga pose.

She tried to sing karaoke but it sounded like a cat was screaming.

I saw him eating a whole pizza with his hands like it was a birthday cake.

Getting so messed up you think you’re the king of the world and you start giving orders to your dog.

He tried to command his dog to do a math test and it just stared at him.

She told her cat she was the queen and it walked away.

I saw him give a speech to his plants about world domination.

So wasted you can’t tell your friends from your enemies and you start throwing chairs.

He threw a chair at the TV and it broke.

She yelled at her brother like he was a thief.

I watched him fight with a couch like it was a rival.