K9_divide

My dog chewed my math test into confetti. I got a D+ because I forgot to bring the glue.

The dog bit my cousin’s leg and ran off with his lunch. He’s still crying.

My dog ate my sister’s essay. She’s writing it again with her tears.

My dog bit my neighbor’s kid and left a dent in the door. That’s not a pet, that’s a death sentence.

The dog chased my mom down the street and stole her keys. She’s still trying to get her car back.

My dog peed on the principal’s shoes. He’s now the school’s most famous student.

My dog ate my entire sandwich and then tried to steal my chips. I’m just a snack to him.

The dog swallowed my homework and left a trail of crumbs all over my room.

My dog bit my brother’s finger and then licked my face. He’s a monster with a tongue.

My dog ran into my room, knocked over my bed, and ate my socks. He’s royalty, and I’m just a servant.

The dog barked at the mailman like he was a rival. I just watched it happen and sighed.

My dog sat on my laptop and typed ‘I love you’ in all caps. I’m not sure if that’s sweet or terrifying.

My dog ran through my house like it was a race track and ate my brother’s pizza. He’s the champion.

The dog jumped on my teacher and stole her coffee. Now she’s too tired to grade my test.

My dog peed on my math test and left a message. It says, ‘You’re welcome.’