Jacob Reed

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#disaster#self-important#late-night-mess

4 views · Added 10d ago · 3 definitions

1
A walking disaster who thinks he’s the king of the world and everyone else is just a side character.
Jacob Reed just tried to explain quantum physics to my dog. The dog is now crying.
He walked into a wall and didn’t even notice. That’s not a fail. That’s a statement.
He texted me at 3 a. m. to tell me he’s ‘reinventing the wheel’ again. I’m not even sure what that means.
by Slangipedia 10d ago
2
A human tornado with a mouth that never stops talking and a brain that never stops making bad decisions.
He tried to start a band. It had three people. It was called ‘The Chaos.’
He took a 20-minute shower. He came out and said he was ‘recharging.’
He told me he’s a ‘visionary.’ I asked what that means. He said, ‘You’ll know when I’m gone.’
by Slangipedia 10d ago
3
A guy who thinks he’s the main character in everyone’s life, even when he’s not there.
He DM’d me during a math test to say he’s ‘taking over the world.’
He called me at 1 a. m. to tell me he’s ‘going to be rich.’ I told him he was already rich. He said, ‘No. I’m *going* to be rich.’
He texted me a 10-page essay about why he’s the best person ever. I didn’t even read it. I just cried.
by Slangipedia 10d ago
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