Jacob McHugh

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The human version of a holy mess. Like Jesus but with more swear words and less patience.

He called me a stupid flamingo in church. Classic Jacob.

He said God was tired of my dumb questions. I believed him.

He turned the holy water into a swear word fountain. I got baptized in rage.

If Jesus had a temper and a mouth full of bad words, that’d be Jacob.

He yelled at the devil during lunch. The devil left a napkin with a bad attitude.

He cursed the bread in the cafeteria. Now it’s stale and angry.

He said the sky was jealous of his bad attitude. It rained swear words.

Jacob is like God but with a foul mouth and a personal vendetta against everyone.

He told the sun to go to sleep. It fell down and broke its sunglasses.

He cursed my math test. It turned into a swear word algebra problem.

He said the moon was just a lazy satellite. It stopped shining and took a nap.