Jacob Diedrich

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4 views · Added 10d ago · 3 definitions

the hottest guy i know who is super weird and hilarious but has legs like a hairy beast and armpits that smell like a rotten pizza

Jacob, your legs are like a forest and your armpits are a crime scene.

I would date you if your armpits weren't a death trap.

You’re cute, but I’m not touching you near your armpits.

my absolute dream guy who’s weird as hell but hilarious and has legs that look like they were plucked by a goat and armpits that could kill a man

Your legs are like a jungle and your armpits are a horror movie.

I’d marry you if your armpits weren’t a toxic waste dump.

You’re funny, but your armpits are a nightmare.

the guy I love who is crazy funny but also weird and has legs that are like a wild animal and armpits that stink like a dead fish

Your legs are hairy and your armpits are like a garbage can.

I’d date you if your armpits weren’t a disaster.

You’re amazing, but your armpits are a curse.