Jackturbating

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When you fake a cumshot while pretending to be doing something else, but you're really just getting off on your own dumbness.

'I was multitasking, bro. I was working and jackturbating at the same time.'

'I tried to text my girlfriend, but I was too busy jackturbating in the bathroom.'

'I said I was doing my homework, but I was really jackturbating on my phone.'

Getting off by yourself when no one else is around, like a sad lonely king with no crown.

'I was alone in my room, and I just started jackturbating like a madman.'

'No one was home, so I did my jackturbating in the living room.'

'I was on a solo mission, and I had to jackturbate to survive.'