Jackson Burke

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3 views · Added 10d ago · 3 definitions

1
A guy who thinks he's the next big thing but can't even ride a roller coaster without screaming like a toddler. He gets banned from parks for three years and then sobs into a bag of popcorn.
He tried to do the loop-de-loop and ended up faceplanting into the barf bucket.
He called the park staff 'beneath him' before getting kicked out.
He cried so hard after the haunted house that the ghost came out to comfort him.
2
A man who thinks he's a superhero but can't even beat a fake monster. He gets kicked out of every park for three years and then cries into a funnel cake.
He tried to fight the dragon and got sprayed with soda.
He yelled at the park manager like he was a boss.
He cried so much the animatronic unicorn started to feel bad for him.
3
A guy who thinks he's awesome but can't handle a little drop. He gets banned from all the parks for three years and then sobs into a cotton candy.
He ran away from the teacups and got yelled at by the ride operator.
He called the roller coaster 'a weak joke' before getting thrown out.
He cried so hard the cotton candy melted in his hand.
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