jackpotting

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Using something the wrong way, like a hammer to hit someone in the face. It always ends with someone bleeding or something smashed to pieces.

I used my mom’s favorite mug to smash my brother’s face. He still has a bruise and a broken mug.

She used the office copier to punch her boss in the gut. The copier now has a paper jam and a sore boss.

He used a fire extinguisher to spray his ex in the face. Now she’s covered in powder and he’s covered in embarrassment.

Feeling like you’ve been handed a gold plated trophy when life throws you a bone.

I got a promotion and a free lunch. I felt like I’d won the lottery.

She got a new car and a raise. She was beaming like a kid on Christmas morning.

He got a free pizza and a compliment. He was like, 'This is the best day ever.'

Saying something is cool, but with more attitude and less brain cells.

That new video game is sweet, man. Like, super sweet.

Her outfit? Cool. I mean, really cool.

That pizza? It was the sweetest thing I’ve ever eaten.

When you're in a mess you made yourself, or someone else made for you. Like being stuck in a traffic jam you caused.

He got caught in a traffic jam he caused. He was stuck for three hours.

She got stuck in a mess she made. Her room looked like a tornado hit it.

He got stuck in a mess his friend made. He had to clean up after a party that went too far.

Getting a huge reward from a game, like winning a million dollars from a slot machine.

He won a million dollars from the slot machine. He was like, 'I’m rich!'

She won the jackpot on the lottery. She screamed, 'I’m a millionaire!'

He won a big prize from a game. He was like, 'I can quit my job now!'

Throwing up from drinking too much, like a fountain of beer and regret.

He threw up all over the floor. It looked like a beer fountain.

She vomited on her friend. They both looked like they had a hangover.

He puked on the bus. The bus smelled like a drunk man’s regret.

Holding back a bunch of stuff and then all of it comes at once, like a boss who saves all your mistakes and dumps them on you during a meeting.

He waited until the end of the year to fire me. He had all my mistakes ready to throw at me.

She waited until the end of the party to yell at him. She had all his mistakes ready to throw at him.

He waited until the end of the month to give her a warning. He had all her mistakes ready to throw at her.