Jackocrackolackin

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A human-shaped disaster who thinks they're the main character of their own dumb movie.

Kevin tried to explain his life story during lunch. No one listened. Even the trash can rolled away.

Kevin texted me at 2 a. m. to say he 'had a vision' about pizza.

Kevin walked into a wall. He didn't notice. He just kept talking about 'the prophecy.'

A guy who's so confused he thinks he's been here before, even though he just arrived.

Kevin showed up to class and said, 'I remember this place. I was here yesterday.' It was Tuesday.

Kevin tried to answer a question from last week. No one knew what he was talking about.

Kevin told his mom he was going to 'reclaim his destiny' at the mall. He just bought a sandwich.

A person who talks to things. Like walls. Or chairs. Or the principal.

Kevin whispered secrets to the lockers. They didn't respond. He cried.

Kevin told the principal, 'You're not listening to me. I'm the chosen one.' The principal gave him a detention.

Kevin talked to his pencil. It broke. He blames the pencil.

A guy who thinks he's a legend, even though he's just been in one fight.

Kevin told everyone he 'defeated the dragon.' The dragon was a substitute teacher.

Kevin wrote a 30-page story about his 10-second victory in gym class.

Kevin bragged about his 'legendary status' until someone challenged him to a duel. He ran away.

A person who says things like 'I saw it in my head' when no one asked.

Kevin blurted out, 'I saw it in my head! I'm going to be rich!' No one believed him.

Kevin told his friend he 'saw the future' and it involved tacos and a cat named Larry.

Kevin claimed he 'saw it in my head' during math test. He failed.

A guy who’s so full of himself he thinks the sun revolves around him.

Kevin told the sun, 'You're not the center of the universe. I am.' The sun ignored him.

Kevin claimed he was the reason the sun rose. No one believed him.

Kevin tried to orbit the sun by running in circles. He fell over.