jacking my balls

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Sitting there like a fat rat in a dumpster, doing zero work and making me want to punch your face.

I’ve been waiting for you to do something for 2 hours and you’re still on TikTok.

You said you’d finish the project yesterday and now you’re still watching cat videos.

You’re supposed to be helping me and you’re just eating chips and staring at the ceiling.

Being so slow it feels like you're moving through molasses with a broken leg and a hangover.

You took 10 minutes to reply to my message and now I'm late for class.

You said you’d be here in 5 minutes and now it’s been 20.

You’re moving slower than a snail on a Monday after a long weekend.

You’re so lazy you could sleep through a thunderstorm and still be tired the next day.

You were supposed to be at the party and you’re still in bed.

You said you’d do the laundry and now the room looks like a tornado hit it.

You’re so tired you could fall asleep in a hot dog and still be dead tired.

You’re like a couch potato with a brain full of glitter and a soul made of excuses.

You said you’d help me study and now you’re binge-watching Netflix.

You were supposed to be here for the test and you’re still at home eating pizza.

You’re so glued to your phone you forgot how to breathe.

You’re like a zombie who forgot to eat brains and now you’re just moaning and groaning.

You were supposed to be up at 8 a. m. and you’re still in pajamas at 11.

You said you’d do your homework and now you’re just staring at the wall.

You’re so tired you could fall asleep in a soup bowl and still be dead tired.

You’re like a slug who got hit by a truck and now you’re just lying there being annoying.

You took 20 minutes to get up from your bed and now you’re still in pajamas.

You said you’d help me clean my room and now you’re just eating chips.

You’re so slow you could make a snail look like a race car.