Jackie Kelly

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When you get so wasted you forget your own name and start talking to the ceiling like it’s your ex.

I drank 12 beers and now the ceiling is my ex again.

Jackie Kelly is when you pass out in a pizza box and wake up in a dumpster.

My friend Jackie Kelly’d at a bar and ended up singing karaoke to a mop.

You drink until your brain turns to sludge and your pants are on backwards.

I Jackie Kelly’d so hard my pants were upside down and my brain was soup.

He Jackie Kelly’d at the party and now he’s stuck in a phone booth.

She Jackie Kelly’d with a bottle of tequila and a revenge plot.

It’s when you chug so much you think you’re a superhero and start fighting the fridge.

I Jackie Kelly’d and battled the fridge like it was my arch nemesis.

Jackie Kelly’d and tried to fly out the window with a sock on his head.

She Jackie Kelly’d and declared war on the microwave.