Jacket Bastard

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#style-obsessed#hot-weather-failure#jacket-obsessed

4 views · Added 10d ago · 6 definitions

1
A human who never takes off their jacket, even when it’s hot enough to melt your brain
I saw him wearing a jacket in the middle of July. He looked like a lobster in a sauna.
He wore a jacket to the beach. The sand was like a second layer of fabric on him.
He tried to sleep in his jacket. His roommate had to throw him out.
by Slangipedia 10d ago
2
A person who thinks their jacket is a second skin and their pants are just extra
He wore the same jacket to work every day. His coworkers called him ‘The Jacket’.
He wore a jacket to the gym. The weights looked like they were trying to escape.
He wore a jacket in the shower. His shampoo is now a liquid jacket.
by Slangipedia 10d ago
3
Someone who lives in their jacket and probably thinks pants are a myth
He wore a jacket to a bar. The bartender gave him a free drink for being so weird.
He wore a jacket to a yoga class. The instructor asked him to leave.
He wore a jacket to a dinner party. His date left him for a shirt.
by Slangipedia 10d ago
4
A human who wears a jacket so much, it might as well be their soul
He wore his jacket to a funeral. People thought he was mourning the jacket.
He wore a jacket to a movie. The screen looked like it was covered in fabric.
He wore a jacket to a dance. The music was so loud, it tried to rip the jacket off him.
by Slangipedia 10d ago
5
A person who thinks their jacket is the only thing keeping them together
He wore a jacket to a meeting. He looked like a walking suit.
He wore a jacket to a picnic. The sandwich fell off because of the jacket.
He wore a jacket to a party. The music was so loud, it tried to take the jacket.
by Slangipedia 10d ago
6
A human who is so jacket obsessed, they think their whole life depends on it
He wore a jacket to a meeting. He looked like a walking suit.
He wore a jacket to a picnic. The sandwich fell off because of the jacket.
He wore a jacket to a party. The music was so loud, it tried to take the jacket.
by Slangipedia 10d ago
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