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Jack Friday is a god-like man who turns regular people into meatballs. He’s the only one who can beat Chuck Norris in a fight, and he did it after his best friend tried to stab him in the back with a fork.
Jack Friday is the reason why my cousin got kicked out of Walmart.
My mom says Jack Friday is the reason why my dad’s beard turned gray.
Jack Friday is the only reason I didn’t get sent to jail for stealing candy.