Jack Symons

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Is a name that sounds like it belongs to a guy who got kicked out of a bar for eating a whole pizza by himself

Jack Symons? That's the name of the guy who tried to fight a goat.

I'm Jack Symons. I once got into a duel with a chicken.

Jack Symons is not a name. It's a warning.

Is a name that your mom would use if she was mad and had a pen

Jack Symons. That's what my mom called me when I ate the last of the ice cream and then threw the bowl at the wall.

Jack Symons? I'm not Jack Symons. I'm the guy who got grounded for two weeks.

Jack Symons is the name I got when I refused to apologize to the principal.

Is a name that makes you want to run away and hide in a closet

Jack Symons. That's the name my dad gave me after I tried to start a fire with a toaster.

Jack Symons is the name I got when I told the teacher I didn't like math and then drew a monster on the blackboard.

Jack Symons is the name I got because I once yelled at a dog and it yelled back.