Jack Reed

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A tiny golden-haired baby man who acts like he’s the king of the world and everyone lets him because they’re too nice to punch him

Jack Reed just ate my last donut and said it was a tax break

He cried when I told him his hair looked like a chicken’s nest

He tried to explain quantum physics to my grandma and she gave him a biscuit

A little blonde man who thinks he’s a superhero and everyone laughs in his face but still gives him cookies

He tried to save the world with a juice box and a nap

He asked for a raise and got a lollipop instead

He yelled at the printer and it started working

A short blonde man who thinks he’s the best at everything and everyone just lets him because they’re too tired to argue

He claimed he could beat the president in a dance-off and no one bothered to check

He said he could fix the internet and then tried to text a cat

He told the teacher he was sick and then proceeded to eat a whole pizza