Jack Powell

You asked him if he cheated on his mom. He said no. Then he told your mom. Now your mom is coming for you.

He told the class he never failed a test. Then he failed the math test. Everyone laughed. He still doesn’t know why.

He said he could beat up a goat. He tried. The goat won. He still thinks he cheated.

He joined Dingle FC United to avoid his ex. Now he’s on the team. His ex still follows him to games.

He won’t talk to you unless you give him a sandwich. Then he’ll laugh at your problems.

He’s been on the team for 10 years. No one knows where he is. He’s probably still hiding from his past.

You asked him where he was last night. He told you about his cat’s death. Then he told a joke about the cat. You still don’t know where he was.

He didn’t answer your question. He told you about his breakfast and a joke about toast. You gave up.

You asked him why he didn’t come to the party. He said he was busy. Then he told a joke about his toaster. You left.

He was in a fight with his brother. He lost. Now his brother sends him hate mail every day.

He got stuck in a situation so bad, he still talks about it in the shower. Every day.

He got in trouble with the cops. Now he’s stuck with that memory. He still says it was unfair.