jack on the rocks

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A glass of cheap whiskey with ice cubes. It’s like the drunk version of a basic man. You’ll look like a failure, but at least you won’t be dead.

My dad drinks jack on the rocks every night. He’s like a broken toaster that won’t shut off.

I drank jack on the rocks and cried in the bathroom. My mom thinks I’m depressed. I’m just sad I didn’t get a better job.

Jack on the rocks is the only thing keeping me from beating my roommate with a spoon.

When you throw a sharp object at someone’s tire because they’re a jerk. Or you do it to your wife because she cheated on you with a hot sandwich.

I threw a broken bottle at my neighbor’s tire. His car made a weird noise. He called the police. I called my mom.

My brother jack on the rocks my sister. He used a piece of glass. She ran out of the house screaming.

I jack on the rocks my ex. He was driving a fancy car. Now he has a flat tire and a bruise on his leg.