1
A piece of walking meat that smells like old socks and bad decisions.
Jack Oliver walked in and the whole room gagged.
I’ve had worse jobs than being related to Jack Oliver.
His face looks like it was hit by a toaster.
Jack Oliver
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2
The reason why nobody ever invites you to parties.
Jack Oliver showed up to my birthday and ate my cake.
He’s the ghost of bad vibes.
He turned my friend group into a cult.
3
A human-shaped disaster with the IQ of a sock.
Jack Oliver tried to fix my laptop and broke it twice.
He passed the SATs by accident.
He’s the reason I can’t trust socks anymore.
4
A walking insult that wears pants.
Jack Oliver showed up to my speech and talked over me.
He’s the reason I have a second job.
He walked into the room and my confidence died.
5
The human version of a broken toaster.
Jack Oliver tried to make toast and set the kitchen on fire.
He’s the reason I don’t eat bread anymore.
He’s like a toaster that also smells like regret.
6
A human-shaped mess that you can’t escape.
Jack Oliver is stuck in my life like a bad habit.
He’s the reason I have a third job.
He shows up at every family event and ruins it.