Jack of all shades

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1
A Jack Of All Shades is someone who owns so many sunglasses they probably think the sun is a rival. They wear them even when it’s dark, like they’re trying to blind everyone else.
"I’ve got 12 pairs. I wear them in the shower. I wear them at night. I wear them when I’m sleeping."
"He wore sunglasses at the funeral. I didn’t know if he was mourning or trying to hide his face from the ghost."
"She came to the meeting with three pairs. One for the lights, one for the people, and one for the existential dread."
2
A Jack Of All Shades has the perfect sunglasses for every situation, like they have a different pair for every mood, every outfit, and every time they feel like being a cool kid.
"My sunglasses match my mood. Today I’m feeling green. So I’m wearing the green ones."
"He had a pair for every season. Even the ones that didn’t exist."
"She wore different sunglasses for every meal. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, and midnight snacks."
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