Jack of all offs

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4 views · Added 10d ago · 4 definitions

1
A guy who can jack off in any situation, no matter how loud or how many people are watching. He doesn't care if he's in a subway or at a family dinner.
He jacked off in the middle of a Zoom call with his boss.
He did it in the grocery store aisle during a sale.
He jacked off in the principal's office while the kids were on a field trip.
2
A guy who thinks he's a pro at everything, but he's just lucky. He hacks things up and calls it a fix, even if it's barely holding on.
He tried to fix the toilet and now it leaks everywhere.
He glued the sink and now it smells like old cheese.
He tried to rewire the house and now the lights flicker like he's having a seizure.
3
A person who'll give you a hand job for free if you just smile at them. They don't care if you're ugly or broke.
She gave me a hand job for a cup of coffee.
He jacked me off just because I said hi.
She did it for a free pizza.
4
A person who doesn’t care if you’re a janitor or a CEO. They’ll take you to bed no matter what you look like or how much money you have.
She dated the guy who mops the floors.
He had sex with the person who works at the deli.
She didn’t care if he was broke or rich.
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