Slangipedia - Slang Dictionary

1

A guy who’s too lazy to do anything but eat pizza and complain about life.

Jack Hoffman just dropped a slice of pizza on the floor and cried.

Jack Hoffman called his mom because he couldn’t find his socks.

Jack Hoffman said he’s going to be a billionaire someday... tomorrow.

2

A human being who thinks he’s a superhero but can’t even tie his shoes.

Jack Hoffman tried to save the world with a cheeseburger and a nap.

Jack Hoffman said he was going to beat up the internet... then fell asleep.

Jack Hoffman tried to do a cartwheel and face-planted into a couch.

3

The human version of a couch potato, but with more excuses and less dignity.

Jack Hoffman said he couldn’t go outside because the sun was too bright.

Jack Hoffman called his mom to help him open a soda.

Jack Hoffman spent 4 hours deciding which pizza to order.

4

A person who thinks he’s cool but everyone else thinks he’s a waste of oxygen.

Jack Hoffman tried to be a rapper and just screamed into a mic.

Jack Hoffman said he was going to start a band... with his cat.

Jack Hoffman called his mom to tell her he was famous.

5

A guy who has more plans than he has motivation, and less success than he deserves.

Jack Hoffman had 100 plans for the day and got distracted by a dog.

Jack Hoffman said he was going to finish his homework... then fell asleep.

Jack Hoffman tried to be a CEO but forgot what a coffee was.

6

The human version of a do-nothing machine, powered by snacks and regret.

Jack Hoffman ate a whole cake and then cried about it.

Jack Hoffman tried to start a business and called his mom for help.

Jack Hoffman said he was going to be a legend... then fell asleep.