Jack Crackered

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6 views · Added 11d ago · 7 definitions

1
when a black guy's car gets stolen by a white guy who thinks he's tough
My cousin's car got jacked by some white kid who looked like he just walked out of a jail cell.
My uncle's car got stolen by a white guy who said, 'I'm gonna beat you up later, bro.'
My cousin's car got stolen by a white guy who looked like he just got out of a meth lab.
2
a sweet snack made of popcorn, peanuts, and sticky caramel. It’s sold in old boxes. Kids eat it. Adults pretend they don’t.
My brother eats a whole box of Cracker Jacks before school starts.
My cousin got a Cracker Jack box for his birthday and ate it like it was a pizza.
I ate a whole box of Cracker Jacks and got a stomachache that lasted two days.
3
when a guy looks down a girl’s shirt like he just saw a free pizza with extra cheese.
My friend looked down my shirt at school and acted like he just won the lottery.
My cousin peeked down my shirt and said, 'I could live off this for a week.'
My brother looked down my shirt and said, 'I’m gonna eat you for dinner.'
4
a game where guys stand in a circle, jerk off, and try to hit a cracker. The last one to finish eats it.
My friends and I played Cracker Jack game after school and I had to eat a cracker for being last.
My cousin played Cracker Jack game and got a cracker stuck in his teeth.
My brother played Cracker Jack game and ate a cracker like it was a snack.
5
when cops steal from white people in a black neighborhood, like they’re robbing a bank.
My cousin got jacked by cops in a black neighborhood and said, 'I thought I was going to jail.'
My brother got jacked by cops and said, 'I didn’t do anything wrong.'
My uncle got jacked by cops and said, 'This is like a robbery, but with cops.'
6
when a white guy gives you a hand job like it's a free pizza.
My friend got a hand job from a white guy and said, 'I didn't expect that.'
My cousin got a hand job from a white guy and said, 'That was better than pizza.'
My brother got a hand job from a white guy and said, 'I'm gonna eat that for dinner.'
7
a game where guys jerk off on a cracker. The first one to finish wins. The last one has to eat the cracker like it's a punishment.
My friends and I played Cracker Jack game and I had to eat a cracker because I was last.
My cousin played Cracker Jack game and got a cracker stuck in his mouth.
My brother played Cracker Jack game and said, 'I'm gonna eat that cracker for dinner.'
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