Jack Cook

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The guy who’s so good he makes you look like a baby who just learned to poop in the toilet.

Jack Cook is the reason I failed my math test. He solved it in 10 seconds.

He’s like a wizard with a basketball. I’m just the guy who got kicked out of the magic circle.

I tried to beat him in a race. He won. I got a D in PE for crying too loud.

The one person who can make your whole day feel like it’s been stolen by a thief named Fartacus.

Jack Cook walked into the room, and suddenly my lunch was gone. I had to eat my sister’s homework.

He’s the reason my dog ran away. The dog just didn’t want to be outshone by a human.

He turned my math problem into a joke. I got a zero and a laugh.

The only person who can make you feel like a used tissue in a public restroom.

Jack Cook showed up and solved the problem I’d been stuck on for a week. I felt like a used tissue.

He beat me at chess. I was so sad, I cried. He laughed and said, 'You’re a crybaby.'

He got the last slice of pizza. I had to eat the crust. And it was the saddest crust ever.