jack cascone

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a meaty human meatball that could bench press a goat

Jack Cascone is like a burger that also plays football.

I saw Jack Cascone eat a whole pizza by himself. It was like watching a dragon eat a knight.

Jack Cascone is the reason why the gym has a 'no snacking' rule.

a human mountain who could kick your ass and still have energy to laugh

Jack Cascone walked into class and the whole school shut up.

Jack Cascone once ran a mile and then did 50 push-ups. I cried.

Jack Cascone is the reason why the lunch table is now a wrestling ring.

a giant who could eat your lunch and then beat you up for it

Jack Cascone took my lunch and then gave me a black eye.

Jack Cascone once ate my sandwich and called me a 'snack thief.'

Jack Cascone is the reason why I now bring a helmet to lunch.