Jack Bain

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A sneaky bastard in Scotland who hangs around kids like they're his personal snack.

I saw Jack Bain hiding behind the school bus like a coward. Classic.

He's been following my kid for a week. I swear he's got a map of their brain.

He tried to lure my kid into a hole. I had to dig him out. Literally.

A half-dead fanny who only has one ball to keep him company.

He walks around like he's the king of the toilet. One ball, big ego.

I saw him crying in the shower. He probably lost his other one to a pigeon.

He tried to fight me. I let him have it. He ran off with one testicle.