Jack Assward

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4 views · Added 11d ago · 6 definitions

1
A stupid person who does everything wrong and acts like they’re the king of the dumbasses.
My uncle tried to fix the Wi-Fi by unplugging the router and screaming at it.
She showed up to the meeting wearing pants inside out and didn’t notice until someone laughed.
He tried to open a can of soda with a hammer and then yelled at the can for being broken.
2
A person who is so clueless they think the sky is a ceiling and they’re being watched by invisible cops.
He tried to text me during a thunderstorm and said the lightning was stealing his signal.
She thought the fire alarm was a joke and kept eating her popcorn.
He wore a hat inside the house and didn’t realize it was a crime.
3
Someone who thinks they’re smart but is actually a walking disaster with no idea what they’re doing.
He tried to cook breakfast and set the kitchen on fire with a toaster and a banana.
She changed the oil in her car with a spoon and then cried.
He tried to text me in Morse code and I had no idea what he was saying.
4
A person so thick-headed they think the moon is made of cheese and they’re the only one who knows it.
He tried to ride a bicycle with a donut on his head and fell over.
She thought the sun was a giant flashlight and tried to turn it off.
He tried to explain how the internet works using a chicken and a ladder.
5
A person who can’t tell up from down and thinks the world is upside down just because they’re having a bad day.
He tried to tie his shoes with his toes and failed miserably.
She tried to answer a phone call with her feet and got a voicemail.
He thought his dog was a cat and tried to feed it ketchup.
6
A person who thinks they’re the smartest person in the room, but they’re actually the dumbest and nobody knows why.
He tried to fix the TV with a banana and a banana peel.
She thought the clock was a microwave and tried to heat up her dog.
He tried to build a house with only spaghetti and a pencil.
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