jabacus

Yo, that jabacus just walked in and I felt my lunch hit the floor.

I tried to flirt with the waitress, but she said, 'He’s my brother.' That jabacus just stared at me like I was a ghost.

That jabacus is the reason my gym teacher gave me an extra 10 push-ups.

I saw that jabacus at the mall and my shopping cart ran away from me.

My dad said, 'Don’t talk to that jabacus, he’s got a temper.' I asked why, and he said, 'He once yelled at a traffic light.'

That jabacus walked into my math class and the teacher couldn’t explain why the numbers started screaming.

I saw that jabacus pick up my car and throw it into a lake. I’m still paying for my car.

That jabacus just ate my entire pizza and said it was too small for him.

He challenged my uncle to a wrestling match and won in 3 seconds. My uncle was still breathing, but he looked like he just saw a ghost.

That jabacus yelled so loud in the library, the librarian gave him a library card and a suspension.

I asked him how he stayed so calm, and he said, 'I don’t stay calm, I just stay loud.'

He screamed so loud during the movie that the screen shook and the popcorn fell out of the machine.

That jabacus ran past me so fast, I had to catch my breath and my dog.

He sprinted into the restaurant, ordered 10 pizzas, and left before I could say 'hello.'

I told him I was going to beat him in a race, and he said, 'You’re gonna have to catch me first.' I still haven’t.

That jabacus just walked in, and I felt my entire life fade away.

He came to my birthday party, ate my cake, and said, 'This is good, but I’ve had better.'

I asked him if he was cool, and he said, 'I’m not cool, I’m just a regular guy. Regular guys are cool.'