Jaaaaake

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4 views · Added 11d ago · 5 definitions

1
a guy who smells like old socks and thinks he’s the king of the world
Why is Jaaaaake in the principal’s office again? He tried to eat the janitor’s lunch.
Jaaaaake said he’d beat up the math teacher if he didn’t pass algebra.
He texted me: 'I’m the king. You’re the peasant. Don’t forget it.'
2
a human who can’t shut up and thinks everyone’s listening to his dumb thoughts
Jaaaaake talked for 10 minutes about his pet goldfish during lunch.
He texted me: 'I had a dream about a sandwich. It was important.'
He yelled in math class: 'I just knew the answer! I just knew it!'
3
a person who wears clothes inside out and still thinks he looks cool
Jaaaaake showed up to football practice wearing his pajamas inside out.
He posted a TikTok of himself in a backwards shirt and said, 'This is streetwear.'
He told me, 'I look like a king. You look like a worm.'
4
a guy who thinks he’s funny but only laughs at his own jokes
Jaaaaake told a joke about his goldfish and laughed for five minutes.
He sent me a voice note: 'Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! Hahahahaha!'
He said, 'I’m the funniest person in the universe. You’re just too dumb to know.'
5
a human who eats weird stuff and thinks it’s a superpower
Jaaaaake ate a whole pizza crust and said it was 'the power of the crust.'
He tried to drink a bottle of soda and said, 'This is my energy drink of destiny.'
He told me, 'I can eat anything. I once ate a sock.'
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