Jaaaaaag

'I didn’t cheat on my math test, I just borrowed my neighbor’s brain for 10 minutes.'

‘I didn’t break the vending machine, I just gave it a pep talk.’

‘I didn’t steal the pizza, I just took a slice and left a thank-you note.’

‘I didn’t shoot the principal, I just asked him a question he couldn’t answer.’

‘I didn’t start the fire, I just told it a joke.’

‘I didn’t fail the test, I just gave it a bad review.’

‘I didn’t eat the whole cake, I just took a bite and the cake took a nap.’

‘I didn’t skip class, I just went on a field trip to my mom’s house.’

‘I didn’t copy my friend’s homework, I just borrowed his brain for 30 minutes.’

‘I didn’t run away from the storm, I just gave it a 5-star review.’

‘I didn’t eat the whole class’s lunch, I just asked them if they wanted a taste.’

‘I didn’t break the school record, I just told it it was overrated.’

‘I didn’t throw the trash out the window, I just gave it a standing ovation.’

‘I didn’t punch the wall, I just told it it was ugly.’

‘I didn’t eat the whole pizza, I just took a bite and the rest took a nap.’

‘I didn’t escape jail, I just convinced the guard it was a bad idea to stay.’

‘I didn’t climb over the wall, I just told it it was too short.’

‘I didn’t steal the keys, I just asked them if they wanted a promotion.’