ja-rei

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a guy who looks like he just got out of a trash can and stepped on a raccoon

He showed up to the party in a stained shirt and smelled like old pizza.

His face was covered in dirt and he had a goatee that looked like it was grown in a cave.

He tried to flirt with my mom and she gave him the side-eye like he was a failed experiment.

a weed that grows in your mom’s hair and your brother’s sock drawer

It was everywhere, even in the cereal box.

I found it growing in my brother’s sock and it was probably from his sock drawer.

It was so bad, my mom started using it as a hairbrush.

a science idea that only smart people understand and everyone else thinks is nonsense

He tried to explain it and I fell asleep in the middle of his speech.

It was so complicated, even my teacher had to look it up.

It sounded like something out of a movie that only nerds watch.

a line a nerd uses to get a girl to say yes, but it’s so cheesy it makes you want to cry

He said, 'Do you want to go to the movies?' and I wanted to scream.

He asked me out and said, 'You’re the best thing since sliced bread,' and I was like, 'Bro, it’s 2025.'

He tried to impress me with a pickup line and it was worse than my math test.

a person so bad at life, they think being average is a win

He thought he was cool because he got a C on his test.

He bragged about his average life like it was a superpower.

He said he was content and I wanted to throw him out the window.