j-ward

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A place where people go crazy and yell at imaginary people. It’s like a jail for nuts.

My cousin got sent to j-ward because he tried to fight a ghost.

The nurse there says you can’t leave until you stop talking to the ceiling.

I saw a guy there wearing a sock on his head and crying about his dead goldfish.

A prison for people who think they’re celebrities and also think they’re being followed by the FBI.

My uncle got locked up there because he kept telling the guards he was the president’s brother.

One guy there thinks he’s a superhero and fights the janitor every Tuesday.

They had to chain him down because he kept trying to escape by singing opera.

A place where people are too messed up to be in jail but not crazy enough to be on a game show.

My friend’s aunt is there because she thinks the pizza delivery man is her ex-husband.

One guy there keeps drawing maps to nowhere and says it’s his escape plan.

They gave him a pill and he stopped talking but started throwing mashed potatoes at the wall.