i'm just kidding

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1
I’m telling you the truth, but I’m lying at the same time.
I said I’d never eat another pizza again. Then I ordered four.
I told you I’d pass the test. I got a D.
I said I’d stop cussing. I cussed the entire class.
2
I’m laughing at you while I’m saying this.
I said I’d never call you again. I called you three times in ten minutes.
I said I’d stop teasing you. I teased you during lunch, recess, and math.
I said I’d leave you alone. I texted you at 1 AM.
3
I’m lying so hard my face might explode.
I said I’d never eat that pizza. I ate the whole thing.
I said I’d stop calling you names. I called you ‘dumb’ six times.
I said I’d stop talking during class. I talked the whole time.
4
I’m saying one thing, but I mean the opposite.
I said I’d stop cussing. I cussed the teacher.
I said I’d leave you alone. I followed you to the bathroom.
I said I’d never eat another donut. I ate ten.
5
I’m trying to be funny, but it’s not working.
I told a joke. No one laughed. I told another. Still no laughs.
I tried to be funny. I said, ‘I’m just kidding.’ That’s not funny.
I made a joke. It was the worst joke ever. I said, ‘I’m just kidding.’
6
I’m saying this like it’s a surprise.
I said, ‘I’m just kidding.’ Like I didn’t already tell you that ten times.
I said, ‘I’m just kidding.’ Like I didn’t expect you to believe me.
I said, ‘I’m just kidding.’ Like I was surprised I was lying.
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