I'm just a chill guy

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A guy who doesn't care if the world burns down around him.

I'm just a chill guy. I don't even notice my pants are on fire.

I'm just a chill guy. I left my homework on the moon.

I'm just a chill guy. I told my mom I was going to the store. I came back 3 days later.

A guy who acts like everything is fine even when it's clearly not.

I'm just a chill guy. My dog bit a neighbor. I said, 'That's fine.'

I'm just a chill guy. I failed my math test. I said, 'That's fine.'

I'm just a chill guy. I got suspended. I said, 'That's fine.'

A guy who will let you die if you're not paying attention.

I'm just a chill guy. I didn't help you when you got stuck in the elevator.

I'm just a chill guy. I let my friend drown in the pool.

I'm just a chill guy. I watched my little brother eat a whole pizza and didn't say a word.