i'm a swell guy

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A guy who thinks he's perfect but is actually a total waste of oxygen.

I'm a swell guy. I once took a shower and forgot to turn the water off. The whole apartment got flooded.

I'm a swell guy. I can eat an entire pizza by myself and still complain about the crust.

I'm a swell guy. I told my boss I was sick, but I was just too lazy to show up.

A guy who thinks he's cool but only knows how to talk about himself.

I'm a swell guy. I got a promotion, and I didn't even do anything to deserve it.

I'm a swell guy. I posted a selfie in the middle of the night and expected 100 likes.

I'm a swell guy. I told my friends I was going to be rich someday. They didn't believe me.

A guy who says he's swell but is more of a disaster in disguise.

I'm a swell guy. I tried to cook dinner and set the kitchen on fire.

I'm a swell guy. I promised my mom I'd clean my room, and I still haven't done it.

I'm a swell guy. I got into a fight over a donut and lost.