I'm A Real American

"I'm a real American!" he yelled, dripping sweat like a broken faucet.

He screamed it so loud, the neighbors called the cops.

It was like a horror movie, but with more yelling.

He said it in a restaurant, like he was auditioning for a movie.

She said it to a kid, because he asked for a snack.

It came out of nowhere, like a bad joke at a family reunion.