I slept like coarse woody debris last night.

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A forester’s way to say: I slept like a dead tree in a swamp. No dreams. No interruptions. Just pure log-level rest.

I slept like a dead tree in a swamp. My bed was a mud pit. I didn’t even snore.

I slept like a dead tree in a swamp. My alarm clock had to drag me out of the forest.

I slept like a dead tree in a swamp. My dreams were just branches falling in a creek.

A forester’s way to say: I slept like a log that got hit by a truck. No comfort. No style. Just pure wood and pain.

I slept like a log that got hit by a truck. My pillow was a splinter. My blanket was bark.

I slept like a log that got hit by a truck. I woke up with a headache and a forest in my ears.

I slept like a log that got hit by a truck. I didn’t even remember my own name when I woke up.

A forester’s way to say: I slept like a rotting stump in the middle of nowhere. No life. No noise. Just pure forest silence.

I slept like a rotting stump in the middle of nowhere. I didn’t even dream about trees.

I slept like a rotting stump in the middle of nowhere. My sleep was so deep, a bear couldn’t wake me.

I slept like a rotting stump in the middle of nowhere. I woke up and my socks were full of moss.