I SKIN INFANT BABIES

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A mean, smelly, and totally unhinged way of saying you punch baby faces until they cry and poop their pants.

I skin infant babies every morning before my coffee. It’s a ritual.

My baby brother cried so loud I skinned him just for fun.

I skinned an infant baby so hard it fell off the couch.

When you take a baby’s face and turn it into a pancake with your bare hands because you’re mad at the world.

I skinned an infant baby because my toast was burnt.

The baby cried so much I skinned it just to shut it up.

I skinned my cousin’s baby because it looked at me wrong.

The act of screaming at a baby so loud it loses its ears and starts crying in slow motion.

I skinned my baby sister by yelling at her for eating my pizza.

I skinned an infant baby during a Zoom call. It was a disaster.

I skinned my neighbor’s baby because it wouldn’t stop giggling.