I sexually identify as a walmart bag

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4 views · Added 11d ago · 3 definitions

Saying you sexually identify as a Walmart bag means you're a sad, crumpled mess who thinks being tossed in the trash is the height of luxury. You’re basically the human version of a used grocery bag.

I wake up every day thinking I'm gonna be recycled someday.

I don't need love, I need a shopping cart.

My life is just a bag with holes and no purpose.

by Slangipedia 11d ago

If you sexually identify as a Walmart bag, you're the kind of person who thinks being squished under a 2-liter soda is a romantic gesture.

I live for being thrown in the back of a car like a forgotten snack.

I dream of being a reusable bag, but I’m still just a bag that got tossed.

I feel most alive when I’m holding up a stack of cereal boxes.

by Slangipedia 11d ago

You sexually identify as a Walmart bag if you're the kind of person who would take a bullet for a bag that didn't even want you.

I once cried when my bag got torn by a kid who didn't know what a bag was.

I would die for a bag that didn’t even like me.

My bag is my soul, and I’m not going anywhere.

by Slangipedia 11d ago