I saw god

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A gross way to say you're so shocked you probably peed your pants.

I saw god when my mom walked in on my dad eating cereal out of the fridge at 2 a. m.

I saw god when my dog tried to eat my homework and it was still wet.

I saw god when my teacher announced there was a pop quiz and it was on the Pythagorean theorem.

When you're so turned on you might as well be in heaven, and you're too busy thinking about tacos to notice anything else.

I saw god after my first kiss and it felt like I was getting a free taco for life.

I saw god when my crush passed me the note and it said, 'Will you be my girlfriend?'

I saw god when I realized my crush had a crush on me too.