I raped you so hard last night

You woke up with a broken nose and a text that said, 'I’m still proud of you.'

Your mom called and said you looked like a raccoon that got hit by a truck.

You texted your friend, 'I think I died and went to hell.'

You texted, 'I can’t even look at my reflection anymore.'

You cried so hard you woke up your dad.

Your friend saw you and said, 'You look like a sad puppy.'

You texted, 'I think I lost my memory.'

You called your mom and said, 'I don’t know who I am anymore.'

Your friend asked, 'Why are you talking to yourself?'