i punch different strokes for different folks

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you treat people like crap depending on who they are

I call my mom a fat flamingo but tell my boss I love him like a son.

I cuss out my crush but compliment my dad like he’s a god.

I tell my sister she’s a trash can but tell my teacher she’s a queen.

you say one thing to your friends and a whole different mess to your enemies

I tell my friends I’m gonna beat up my brother but I tell my brother I’m gonna be his best friend.

I say I love my crush but I tell my crush I hate him.

I tell my mom I’m going to a party but I’m actually at a gas station eating pizza.

you’re a fake person who acts like a different version of yourself for each person

I’m a sweet kid to my teacher but a total monster to my brother.

I’m a good friend to my bestie but I tell my crush I’m a total disaster.

I’m a genius to my parents but I’m a total idiot to my friends.

you talk like a king to some people and like a dog to others

I tell my crush I’m the best person ever but I tell my sister I’m a total loser.

I’m a rockstar to my friends but I’m a total beggar to my mom.

I’m a king to my teacher but I’m a total dog to my crush.

you fake being nice to people just to get what you want

I say I love my crush but I only want his pizza.

I say I’m best friends with my teacher but I just want a better grade.

I say I’m a total winner to my mom but I just want more allowance.