I Pulled an Ace!

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You just took a dump and your first wipe was clean. Like you drew the best card in the deck. No need for any more toilet paper.

After I ate that whole pizza, I pulled an ace!

I came out of the bathroom like a king.

My first wipe was so clean, I called my mom.

You pooped and your first wipe was spotless. It was like you got lucky and drew the best card.

I pulled an ace and walked out like I owned the place.

After that greasy burger, I pulled an ace and felt like a god.

I wiped once and said, 'This is the best day ever.'

You did a number two and your first wipe was clean. It was like you got the best card in the game. No need to keep going.

I pulled an ace and didn’t even use the second wipe.

I pooped and my first wipe was clean. I was like, 'I’m rich.'

I pulled an ace and walked out like I had just won the lottery.