I promise I won't tell

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The worst lie ever told; it’s like saying you’ll poop in a shoe and then doing it in front of everyone

My mom said that before she ate my little brother’s homework.

My dad said that before he told my teacher I peed on the floor.

My friend said that before she posted a video of me crying in a toilet stall.

A lie so bad it should be put in a time capsule with your old socks and your first crush’s hair

My cousin said that before she told my aunt I stole her boyfriend.

My brother said that before he told my mom I ate a whole pizza for breakfast.

My neighbor said that before she told my dad I cursed in church.

A promise that’s as reliable as a dog with a cookie and no brain

My sister said that before she told my teacher I drew a mustache on the principal’s face.

My friend said that before she told my mom I took a nap during her meeting.

My dad said that before he told my uncle I peed in his swimming pool.