I like my dog

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A person who is too lazy to go out and just stares at their dog like it’s the only thing keeping them alive.

I like my dog so much I’ve named my couch after it.

My dog is my only friend. My family is just a bunch of people who live with me.

I don’t leave my house unless my dog demands a snack.

Someone who thinks their dog is better than you, your parents, and the president all combined.

My dog is the king of the world. I’m just his servant.

I would fight a bear for my dog. I would also fight my brother for my dog.

My dog is a god. I am just a man who feeds it.

A person who would rather clean their dog’s bowl than their own room.

I like my dog more than my homework.

I have a dog. I also have a room. The dog’s bowl is cleaner.

I vacuum my dog’s hair but I don’t vacuum my floor.