I hear crickets

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Total silence when a joke is so bad it makes your face go numb or someone brings up something so gross you wish you were dead.

My cousin told a joke about mold and I heard crickets. I didn't laugh. I just stared at the ceiling.

When my friend asked if I wanted to eat a spider, I heard crickets. I said no. I also said never again.

At the party, someone mentioned my ex. I heard crickets. I knew it was time to leave.

Silence so loud it sounds like a thousand crickets are screaming because your brain is melting from embarrassment.

When I tripped over my dog, I heard crickets. My face was red. My dog looked confused.

At lunch, I spilled my soup on my shirt. I heard crickets. My friends laughed. I cried.

When I said I hated math, my teacher heard crickets. She gave me a pop quiz. I failed.

The sound of crickets when someone says something so stupid or gross, it feels like your brain is about to explode.

When my brother said he wanted to eat a pizza with cheese on it, I heard crickets. I said, 'Are you high?' He said no. I believed him.

At the movie, I sneezed and my nose went everywhere. I heard crickets. The people next to me left.

When my mom said she wanted to become a vampire, I heard crickets. I said, 'That’s not a thing.' She said it was.