i hate simps

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I hate simps because they are weak and do stupid stuff for people who don’t even like them.

My friend brought her ex coffee every day. I threw my coffee at him.

He paid for her surgery. She dumped him for a guy who just said hi.

I brought my crush soup. He brought her a limo.

Simps are like dogs who lick the same butt every day. I hate that.

I brought her flowers. He brought her a whole garden.

She texted me once. He texted her 200 times.

I bought her a pizza. He bought her a mansion.

Simps are the worst. They’re like the annoying kid who does all the work in group projects.

I did the math. He did the math and the homework and the tests.

She asked for help. He asked for help and moved in with her.

I brought her a gift. He brought her a job.

Simps are like the guy who gets stabbed in the back and still gives the knife to the guy who stabbed him.

I got dumped. He got dumped and still texted her.

She broke his heart. He bought her a heart.

I brought her a card. He brought her a lifetime supply of cards.

I hate simps because they’re like the guy who gives a girl everything and still ends up getting kicked in the nuts.

He bought her a car. She broke up with him for a guy who said hi.

I brought her a sandwich. He brought her a restaurant.

He paid for her vacation. She flew to Hawaii and left him in the middle of the desert.