I guarantee it!

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4 views · Added 11d ago · 2 definitions

A promise made by guys who look like they just got out of a jail cell and forgot to shower. It means nothing. But it sounds cool. And it’s usually followed by a lie.

I guarantee it! You’ll never see me again. (He left the room. He never came back.)

I guarantee it! This pizza will be good. (It was a frozen pizza from 2008.)

I guarantee it! I’ll be there on time. (He showed up 3 hours late.)

by Slangipedia 11d ago

What George Zimmer says when he’s high on power and his meat is still hard. It’s not a guarantee. It’s just him trying to make you feel small.

I guarantee it! You’ll be the best-dressed man at the funeral. (He wore a shirt inside out.)

I guarantee it! This suit will make you look like a king. (He looked like a confused janitor.)

I guarantee it! You’ll never fail. (He failed at life.)

by Slangipedia 11d ago