I got killed

My cousin said I got killed after I called his dog a hairball.

My teacher got killed when I drew a mustache on her portrait.

My friend got killed after he said my mom's cooking was like a prison meal.

I got killed when my crush saw me eating a whole pizza by myself.

My brother got killed after he told my dad about my math test score.

My sister got killed when she spilled her coffee on my mom.

My friend got killed when he tried to dance to a rap song in class.

My uncle got killed after he told a joke that was worse than my homework.

I got killed when I wore socks with sandals to the school party.