I give half a shit

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I’m so lazy I’d let a skunk eat my lunch

My mom called me 10 times and I didn’t answer

I skipped gym and ate pizza for breakfast

I didn’t even wash my hands after the toilet clogged

I’d rather be buried than care about this

I didn’t show up to my own birthday party

I forgot my dog’s name and his birthday

I still don’t know what the movie was about

I’m like a broken toaster, I don’t work and I don’t care

I didn’t do my homework and got a zero

I missed my train and didn’t even flinch

I spilled coffee on my shirt and kept eating